I first tried it, and I did not make it. So for many years, I have believed that I will be unable to do certain things, because I’m just not born to do this. I firmly believed that I’m not good at It stuffs and so I shut myself off anything related to it, refusing to learn or try anything . As a result of this belief, I have trained myself to be unapt with It stuffs and unable to keep up with the latest technology that put me in a disadvantage position. Years of shut-off from exposing myself to these has produced a IT idiot like me. I do not know how to put photos in Facebook, how to apply styles and designs to Microsoft Powerpoint and how to use other IT equipments.
This is not the only example. Because of bad experience, I have believed that I’m not good with people relations, and that people will not like to talk to me. Sure enough, later at some point of time, many people don’t like to talk to me because it’s difficult and the conversation will not be harmonious. I was even afraid of answering telephone calls at a period of time. I remembered last year, where I simply sms others and lie to them that my phone is spoilt when they tried to call me. This fear may be due to me not frequently using the phone, like I have no classmates calling me the whole of my sec 3 and 4 life.
I was a tomboy when I was a little child. I hang up with guys and I am very rough. I bullied the girls and I engaged in fights. (Hahas) I was so naughty that my mother locked me behind my house and I was wailing very hard. Because I was afraid to leave my mother for fear of getting lost in the past. I remembered that I almost cried when I’m alone in the bus heading to Xinmin Secondary School without my mother on the third day of school. Now I’m independent. So, as I was not brought up properly as a girl, it was rather tough for me to become more girl-like. I prefer to socialise myself with guys than girls, because I always thought that guys are more interesting and cool than girls. I do not dare to wear dress or skirt because I don’t wear them often and thought it to be weird. I once thought that perhaps I was born wrongly as a girl. I even imagined how cool and suave I will be if I’m a guy, attracting many girls like I’m a flower.
From this three examples, I came to realise that it is because of belief and unwillingness to accept that I am unapt with IT, unable to gain many friends because I’m too boring and unable to behave like a proper girl in the past . (But I’m still unapt with IT now 
) So it is because you want to do it that you can stand a chance to succeed. Contrary to my flawed belief, nobody is borne being an IT pro or doing something admirable. Those that who eventually succeed are usually those who bother to try and practise hard. So it’s all your own choice, wherger you want to do it or not.
Therefore, I thank God for teaching me something everyday, that this bring me closer and closer towards being the true and pure me, for God’s glory and pleasure. Thank you Lord, for His continual guidance as I came to discover more and more about myself and God’s purpose for me. Thank you Lord for enriching my life with so many different stages of life with very different challenges that lead me to many lessons learnt, as I grow up from a selfish, anti-social, timid, lacking in confident child to a more true me today, unique by God’s purpose and plan. Lord, thank you for creating me, I love myself because I know that I am not borne by accident and neither are all my experiences existing only as result of random and chance. Lord, you are the one who is at work and life is only meaningful when you exist. Lord, I love everything you created, nature and people, and people whom I learn not to despise despite their weaknesses because they reflects your glory and meaning for them. Lord, I delight in your profound and unfathomable love for all of us that nothing is able to separate us from your great love. Lord, I love you with all my might and believe in your purpose made specially for me. O Lord, may your glory be magnified at the face of everything in this Earth.
By God, everything is made with meaning and purpose.
Thank you Lord, I bought another dress of many favourite colours that I like. Thank you for the shopping trips with my friends which is both fruitful in the things bought and the deepening of friendships.
